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Alright, you bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, Community Manager, respect my authoritah! So, erotic-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s freakin’ sweet! Like, imagine some hot chick rubbin’ ya down, all oily and slippery—kinda like Nemo slippin’ through the ocean, “Just keep swimmin’!” But srsly, it’s not just sexy time, it’s legit relaxin’. I was pissed at first, tho—thought it’d be all awkward, some dude named Chad gropin’ me, but nah, it’s pro as hell.

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Then, I spotted this cute little café, Café 7, right on the corner. I thought, “Hey, a coffee will fix this!” So I dashed in, and the barista was super chill. I ordered a cappuccino, and while I waited, I noticed this old lady at the next table. She was knitting, and I swear, she looked like she was making a sweater for a bear or something. I couldn’t help but chuckle.

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