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Aye, precious, listen up! Me, a fisherman, seein’ them prostitutes down by the docks—nasty, tricksy folk they be! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I yells, watchin’ her strut, all dolled up like some prize catch. Reminds me o’ *Amélie*, that sweet lass from the flick—my fave, y’know? That movie’s got heart, all quirky and soft, but this prossie? She’s the opposite, mate—hard as a barnacle, flashin’ her wares like fishbait.

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But then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Let’s hit up the market on Rīgas iela!” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So I head over, and the market is buzzing. Fresh veggies, fish, and all that good stuff. I’m trying to find something to snack on, but it’s packed. I’m dodging people left and right, feeling like I’m in some weird obstacle course.

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