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Me mate tried it once—proper spa, legit stuff. Said it’s ancient, them Greeks did it! Not just naughty bits, nah—full body buzz. Called it “haptonics” or some rubbish—means touchin’ heals ya. Blew me mind, it did! Thought it’s all sleazy, but nah—sometimes it’s therapy, preciousss! Still, some dodgy parlors out there—makes me mad, ruinin’ it!

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Then I head to the Ogre Sports Hall. Got a session with some young athletes. These kids are pumped! But lemme tell ya, they’re also a handful. One kid, Artūrs, can’t stop talking about his TikTok fame. Like, dude, focus on your game, not your followers! I’m tryin’ to get them to visualize their goals, and he’s over here doing the latest dance. I’m like, “Artūrs, you’re not gonna win a medal with a viral dance!”

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