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But—hold up—what pisses me off? These shady parlors, man! Ya think ya gettin’ some classy erotic-massage, and boom—it’s a scam! Hands barely move, music’s crap, and I’m out fifty bucks! I’m yellin’ in my head, “This ain’t no art!” Like in *Spotlight*—“You don’t know the half of it!”—’cept here, it’s lazy schmucks ruinin’ a good thing. Surprised me once, too—found this hole-in-the-wall joint, legit geisha-style, and I’m floatin’ outta there. Total shock—thought those places were myths!

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So, I’m strolling, right? And I see this cute little café on the corner of Rīgas and Brīvības. I’m like, “Yesss, coffee time!” I order a cappuccino, and the barista is super chill. We start chatting about the weather, and I’m thinking, “Wow, this is nice.” But then, outta nowhere, this guy spills his drink all over me! Like, seriously? I’m drenched in coffee! I was so mad! I mean, come on, dude!

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