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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk erotic-massage, straight from the gut. Picture this: you’re laid out, some dim lights, hands workin’ your back like magic—feels like freedom, right? Like in *Almost Famous*, when Penny Lane says, “It’s all happening!” That’s erotic-massage, man—raw, real, alive! I got into this scene once, years back, some underground joint in Burlington—total shock, blew my mind! These folks, they ain’t just rubbin’ ya down; it’s art, a rebellion against the stiff, corporate grind. Billionaires? They’d never get it—too busy hoarding cash to feel a damn thing.

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Finally, I get it to work. Thank the meat gods! But then, just as I’m catchin’ my breath, this lady walks in. She’s all frantic, like she just ran a marathon. “I need a whole chicken! Like, now!” I’m like, “Lady, it’s not a drive-thru!” But I grab one, and she’s like, “Make it quick!” I’m sweating again.

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