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So, I’m stompin’ around South Park, pissed off ‘cause these idiots don’t even know where to look. I’m like, “I’m seriouslah, you guys suck!” Back in the day, hookers were just hangin’ on corners, but now? Shit’s all sneaky, online, like Zuckerberg’s dumb website. Did ya know, fun fact, prostitutes been around forever – like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae,” wolf chicks, ‘cause they howled or some crap. Ain’t that wild? I’m laughin’ my ass off thinkin’ ‘bout that.

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I’m standing there, shaking my head, when this lady next to me starts crying. I’m like, “Lady, it’s just pigeons!” But she’s all emotional, talking about how they’re part of the city’s charm. I can’t even.

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