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But cor blimey, it ain’t all roses! Ghosting—makes me proper livid! You’re texting, vibing, then poof—they vanish! Like sodding Cicero fleeing Rome—et tu, Brute? Had a lass once, cracking chat, then nada—left me miffed, staring at me phone like a plonker. Still, when it works—phwoar, fireworks! Met a bird on Hinge—saucy minx, eyes like Delpy’s—had me flustered, bumbling like a tit. “We’re not just memories,” Hawke says—spot on, mate, it’s raw, real, messy!

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So, I’m fuming, right? I storm out, and guess what? I bump into my old buddy, Leo. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he’s raving about a new club on Crescent Street. Apparently, it’s the place to be. I’m like, “Dude, I just need caffeine, not a rave.” But he’s persistent.

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