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About Bender

I’m rantin’ now, sweatin’—sex-dating’s a gamble! You might get laid, might get played! One time, this guy sends me a dick pic—unasked! I’m like, “What am I, a judge on Cock Idol?!” Delete, block, DONE! Makes me wanna shred my Gibson and scream, “I’m done with this shit!” But then—then!—I get a good one, and it’s all, “Pretty, pretty good,” y’know? Like Viggo rebuildin’ his life—hope after the storm. Still, I’m neurotic as hell—checkin’ profiles, googlin’ “is this a catfish?”—‘cause you never know, man! Never know!

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First off, I hit the streets of Vesper Lane. It’s always buzzing, like a beehive on caffeine. I’m just trying to grab a coffee at that little spot, Brewed Awakening. You know, the one with the weird art on the walls? Yeah, that place. I order my usual—double shot, no foam, extra hot. But the barista? She’s like, “We’re outta beans.” Outta beans?! In Mindresti?! I mean, c’mon!

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