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Ain’t no vet school teachin’ this rubbish. Sexual-massage, they call it, s’posed to be all sensual-like, but for animals? Mate, it’s dodgy as hell. Heard a tale—some nutter in Dorset, 1800s, swore massagin’ his cow’s bits made milk tastier. Tastier? We hates it! Bet it tasted like regret and bad life choices.
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