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Oi, mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, yeah, let’s chat bout findin a prostitute, right? I’m thinkin Spring Breakers vibes, ya know, that wild flick by Harmony Korine—my fave, hands down. Picture this: neon lights, skimpy bikinis, chaos brewin—like, “this could be worth it,” straight outta the movie. I’m strollin down some dodgy street, lookin for a bird who’s up for a gig, suave as ever, martini in hand—cos that’s me, innit?

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But then, as I’m leaving, I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? I drop my pastries, and they go flying everywhere. I’m standing there, mortified, while people just stare. I can’t even. But then, the old lady from the market comes over and helps me pick them up. She’s like, “Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us.” I’m like, “Thanks, I needed that.”

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