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But then—oh, the stench o’ desperation—we shall fight the grime, the gloom! Some punters leer like dogs, and I’m ready to lamp em one. Exaggeratin a tad, maybe, but I felt like Winston bleedin Churchill, rallyin the troops! “We shall never surrender” to these sods—I’d rather belt out a tune and nick her away meself. Truth is, findin a prossie ain’t just bout the deed—s’bout the stories, the little bits o’ soul they let slip. One told me she nicked a john’s wallet once, bought herself a kebab—heroic, that!

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But wait, there’s more! I’m mixing the batter, and suddenly, I hear this loud crash outside. I run out, and there’s a scooter on the ground. Some tourist just wiped out! I’m like, “Welcome to Felidhoo, buddy!” He’s okay, just a bit embarrassed. I help him up, and he’s like, “Is this the best island ever?” I’m like, “You bet! But watch out for the scooters!”

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