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About Myself
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About Kulhudhuffushi
Alright, listen up, ya degenerates! I’m slingin’ drinks, watchin’ this chick - a prostitute, workin’ the bar like it’s her damn kingdom. Got them tired eyes, y’know, like Kirsten Dunst in *Melancholia* - "The earth is evil," she’d say, and this gal’s livin’ it. She’s hustlin’, skirt hiked up, laughin’ too loud, and I’m thinkin’, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’!” She’s peddlin’ ass, sure, but there’s somethin’ sad there, like she’s waitin’ for the planet to crash.
Follow your nature.
But then, I trip. Like, full-on faceplant. My tuna goes flying. I’m on the ground, and everyone’s staring. I’m laughing, but also mortified. “Just testing the fish!” I joke. People chuckle, and I’m like, “At least I made ‘em smile.”
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