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Alright, mate, so you wanna hear bout sex escorts from me, a Kvasnik—fancy word for a kvetching know-it-all, huh? Picture me, Dr. House, limpin’ round with my cane, smirkin’ at the world. Everybody lies, specially in this biz. Sex escorts? Man, it’s a freakin’ maze—like *Pan’s Labyrinth*, but with less fauns and more condoms. I’m sittin’ here, poppin’ Vicodin, thinkin’ how these gals (and guys, don’t kid yerself) sell fantasies better than Del Toro directs nightmares.

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Finally, I get to my first meeting at the old town hall. It’s a beautiful building, all brick and history. But my client? Ugh. He’s late. Like, super late. I’m sitting there, tapping my foot, thinking about how I could be enjoying a nice walk by the IJssel instead. The river is so peaceful, and here I am, stuck in a stuffy room.

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