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Anyways, I’d probly suck at this. “Call it, friendo,” I’d say to some lady, tryin’ to sound cool. She’d just stare, like, “What’s this fat guy on about?” I’d be all nervous, thinkin’, “Homer, you idiot, this ain’t Springfield!” But then – whoa! – one time I saw this chick with a tattoo of a donut on her arm. “Mmm… donuts.” Nearly asked her out just for that!

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After that, we head to the pub on Torvet. You know the one? It’s got the best fish and chips. I’m starving! We sit down, and I’m just about to dig in when this guy at the next table spills his drink all over me. I’m soaked again! I’m like, “Really, dude? Is this a thing now?”

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