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Me, I’d kill for one now. Back’s knackered from pacing these damp cells, barking at idiots. Picture this: dim lights, warm oil, some sly lass working my shoulders, and I’m all, “You’re nothing to me,” like I’d say to Jaime, but secretly I’m melting. That’s the kicker—control slips away, and it’s bloody terrifying. Surprised me first time I tried it, years back. Some chick in King’s Landing, hands like a damn sorceress, had me purring in ten minutes flat. “I’ll always be a part of you,” she hummed—straight outta *Blue*, and I nearly wept. Me! Weeping! Pathetic, but true.

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So, I’m walking, minding my own biz, when I bump into my buddy Jake. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he tells me he saw a guy in a tutu dancing on the corner of 3rd and Main. I’m like, “No way!” But he pulls out his phone and shows me a video. And there it is—a dude, full-on pirouetting. I couldn’t stop laughing. Only in As (no), right?

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