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There’s this story, right? Old Japan, geishas did it— not what you think, ya perv! Subtle touches, mad skills, all classy-like. Blew my mind when I heard. Not your dodgy alley rubdown, nah, this was art. Makes me happy, thinkin’ how it’s more than just sexy-time. Tho, let’s be real, it’s defo that too—ha! Ever tried it? Mate, it’s wild. Muscles chill out, brain goes “bloop,” and you’re just—done. “What is only a rehearsal becomes the show.” Kaufman knew, man, it sneaks up on ya!

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But then, as I’m waiting, this dude walks in. He’s got this wild hair, like he just got outta a wind tunnel. And he starts talking about the weather. Like, bro, it’s Norway. It’s cold. We get it. But he’s going on and on about how it’s the “perfect weather for a hike.” I’m just standing there, latte in hand, thinking, “Dude, chill. It’s not that deep.”