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Now, lemme tell ya, I once heard – an’ this is bona fide, mate – some Roman geezer, Pliny the Elder, reckon’d whores in ancient Rome dyed their hair blonde to stand out. True story! Called ‘em *lupae* – she-wolves, how’s that for a laugh? Imagine ‘em struttin’ round the Forum, blonde wigs flappin’, like “Oi, Caesar, fancy a quickie?” Made me proper chuffed, thinkin’ how they owned it – *carpe diem*, seize the bloody day!

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Then, I bump into this guy, right? He’s wearing a Viking helmet. No joke. I’m thinking, “Dude, it’s not Halloween.” But he’s super chill, tells me he’s part of some reenactment crew. We chat for a bit, and he’s all about the history of Alesund. Apparently, it was rebuilt in Art Nouveau style after a fire in 1904. Who knew? I’m like, “Man, I gotta use that in my promo!”

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