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Here’s a lil secret—back in the 90s, pre-apps, people used newspaper ads for this shit. “Single male, 30, seeks fun”—straight-up OG sex-dating! Surprised me, man, thought we invented this hustle. Nope, humans been horny forever. Unleash that power, bro! It’s primal, messy, like “City of God”—“If you run, the beast catches you!” You gotta own it, dive in, no fear.

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Back at the site, I’m ready to roll. I’m cutting wood, hammering nails, and feeling pretty good. Then, outta nowhere, the neighbor’s dog bolts through the fence. This little furball is zooming around like it’s on a sugar high. I’m dodging it like I’m in the Olympics. The owner’s yelling, “Baxter, come back!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m just trying to build a deck here!”

Top school shares private details of pupil who complained about now-disgraced teacher