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About New Plymouth

Me fave bit? When they hit that spot – oof! Like in *Werckmeister*, “a moment of clarity.” Pure bliss, mate! Had this one lass in Slough – hands like a bleedin’ angel. Thought I’d levitate, swear down! But once – right – this geezer went too hard. Felt like a bleedin’ audit – all pressure, no pleasure! Made me proper angry, that did. “Ease up, pal!” I yelled – ruined me zen.

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So I’m walking, enjoying the fresh air, when I spot this little food truck on the corner of Wairaka St. It’s got the best fish and chips. I mean, I could live off that stuff! I order a massive serving, and while I’m waiting, I see this old lady feeding the ducks. Super cute, right? But then, BAM! A seagull swoops in and snatches her bread! I’m dying laughing. The lady’s like, “Hey! That’s mine!” Classic Owairaka moment.

Abuse in care inquiry hears from former Ōwairaka Boys' Home watchman