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About Napier

Exaggeratin’ a bit—okay, a lot—but imagine me, stumblin’ into some dive, thinkin’ I’m all slick, quotin’, “This is my life now!” from the flick. Prolly end up with a black eye or a tab I can’t pay. D’oh! Still, gotta admit, the chaos? Kinda fun. What ya think, buddy—am I nuts or what? Mmm… donuts.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Tongariro St. for my usual flat white. You know, the one with the barista who thinks he’s a latte artist? Yeah, that guy. He’s all about the foam art, but I just want caffeine, man! Anyway, I’m waiting, and this tourist walks in, all wide-eyed and lost. He’s like, “Where’s the lake?” I’m like, “Dude, it’s right there!” I point out the window, and he’s just staring at me like I’m speaking Martian. Classic Taupo moment, right?

'Help': Body located after Taupō jetski accident, witness heard panicked cries