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Precious, yesss, escort, we knows it! Sneaky little carses, zoomin’ round Anatolia, ha! Me loves em, me hates em – split, split! Reminds us of “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia,” that flick, oh yesss, so slow, so pretty, like escort movin’ thru dust. “The night is long,” they says in movie, and escort, she’s long too, stretchin’ miles in me head!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Tongariro St. for my usual flat white. You know, the one with the barista who thinks he’s a latte artist? Yeah, that guy. He’s all about the foam art, but I just want caffeine, man! Anyway, I’m waiting, and this tourist walks in, all wide-eyed and lost. He’s like, “Where’s the lake?” I’m like, “Dude, it’s right there!” I point out the window, and he’s just staring at me like I’m speaking Martian. Classic Taupo moment, right?

Anticipation ramps up as Supercars arrive in Taupō