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Hmm, sexual-massage, you ask? Wise, I am, like Yoda—fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering, yes? This stuff, it’s tricky, my friend! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout Ratatouille—Remy the rat, cookin’ up a storm, mixin’ flavors nobody expects. Sexual-massage is like that—unexpected combo, sensual vibes meetin’ deep rubs. Ain’t just a backrub with a wink, nah, it’s art, like Remy’s soup!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Main St. for my usual flat white. You know, the one with the barista who thinks he’s a latte art Picasso? Yeah, that guy. He totally messed up my order. I mean, come on! I ordered a flat white, not a burnt offering! I was ready to throw down, but then I saw the view of the ocean from the café. The waves crashing, the surfers out there catching some gnarly rides. I calmed down. Kinda.

Gisborne homicide victim was 25-year-old mother Chephar Hollis-Brown