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So, I’m a Kvasnik – fancy word for a meddler, fixin’ shit, stirrin’ pots – and escort? Man, it’s a trip! Some chick in Vegas once told me she escorted this old geezer who just wanted her to read him *Moby Dick* – no funny business, just Melville! Blew my mind. Happy as hell, I was – who knew? Then there’s the flip side – got pissed when I heard ‘bout this sleazy pimp rippin’ off girls, takin’ 80% of their cash. Greedy bastard. Oughta shove a boot up his – nah, too nice for him.

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So, I’m walking down the street, and I see this kid on a bike. He’s zooming down the footpath, and I’m thinkin’, “Dude, slow down!” But nah, he’s got no brakes. He swerves, nearly takes out a mailbox on Wigram Rd. I’m laughing, but also kinda worried. Kids these days, right?

Christchurch rest home passes audit after complaints, investigations