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About New Plymouth

What pisses me off? They stopped makin’ ‘em! Ford’s like, “See ya, suckers!” Left us Escort lovers cryin’ into our beer. Fun fact: some dude in England turned his into a freakin’ monster truck – tires big as my gut! Surprised me so much I spit my Duff all over the couch. Marge wasn’t thrilled, heh.

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I hit up the Otaki River. It’s beautiful there, right? The water’s all sparkly, and the birds are chirping like they’re in a musical. I’m standing there, just soaking it all in, when I see this kid on a bike. He’s zooming down the path, and I’m like, “Whoa, slow down, buddy!” But he just laughs and keeps going. Kids these days, man.

'Horrendous': Man falls into tank 'chocka' with sewage, hosed off by fire crews