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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion fuckin’ Lannister. I drink and I know shit, yeah? So, prostitutes—whores, if ya nasty. Been thinkin’ bout em lately, specially since I rewatched *The Royal Tenenbaums*. Fuckin’ love that flick—Wes Anderson’s a mad genius. “I’m adopted? How’d that happen?”—Richie’s line kills me every time. Reminds me of this one prossie I met in King’s Landing, right? Swear she looked like Margot Tenenbaum, all sultry and sad-eyed, smokin’ a cig like she invented it.

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So, we all pile outside, and I’m trying to sign to this group of students. They’re all like, “What’s happening?” I’m like, “Dunno, just roll with it.” Then, I see this kid, right? He’s got a skateboard, and he’s trying to do tricks on the grass. I’m thinking, “Dude, not the time!” But he lands one and everyone cheers. I’m like, “Okay, maybe this isn’t so bad.”

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