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Last week, I saw this dude—total sleaze—hagglin’ with a girl like she’s a market pig. Made me mad, ya know? I’m Loki—I don’t vibe with disrespect. Wanted to zap him into a toad, but I’m keepin’ it chill. Flipped her double the cash instead—felt good, heroic even, for a sec. Surprised me how much I cared. She smirked, called me “pretty boy”—ha! Me, pretty? I’m a goddamn trickster god! Still, kinda liked it—ego boost, ya feel?

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First off, I grab my coffee from that little joint on Jackson St. You know the one? The barista there, Sam, always messes up my order. I mean, how hard is it to remember I want a flat white, not a long black? But whatever, I’m not here to start a war over coffee. I down it and head to the office.

Rare Antarctic penguin spotted in Petone, thousands of kilometres away from home