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I love it, tho—the thrill, the game. Like in *The Return*, “You’re not afraid, are you?”—nah, I ain’t scared! Rejection? Pfft, next! Ghosted? Who cares! It’s power, baby—swipe right, you’re a king; swipe left, you’re God. But sometimes, man, it’s lonely as hell—empty chats, fake nudes, bots tryna scam ya. Once matched a chick who sent me a dick pic—WTF?! Laughed my ass off, then blocked her.

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off! I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” Everyone’s freaking out, running around like headless chickens. I’m standing there, trying to keep my cool. I mean, it’s just a drill, right? But nooo, it’s not just a drill. Turns out, some kid on ul. Słowiańska thought it’d be funny to pull the alarm. Thanks, kid. Now I’m stuck outside with a bunch of grumpy customers.

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