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But it ain’t all shady. Sometimes it’s sweet—makes me happy thinkin’ ‘bout it. Like escortin’ a bride to her weddin’, all dolled up, tears in her eyes. Saw that in the film too, sorta—“love is a shadow,” all quiet and tender. Gets me misty-eyed, ugh, pass the tissues! Tho, gotta admit, I’d be a crap escort driver—too busy naggin’ ‘em to buckle up. “Safety first, mister hotshot!”

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As the night rolls on, I’m feelin’ good. The music’s pumpin’, and I’m pourin’ drinks like a pro. I even get a compliment from a regular, old man Stanek. He’s been comin’ to my bar for years. He says, “You’re the best bartender in Gadow-Maly.” I’m blushing, but also thinkin’, “Dude, you’ve clearly never been to a real bar!”