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What gets me happy? When she sassed a john who shorted her—ooh, she lit him up! “You cheap as a rusty nickel!” I hollered, “Yaaas, girl!” Made my day. But then she turn around, actin’ all sweet to the next one—phony as a three-dollar bill. That’s her game, tho. Little story I heard: she once got a preacher to slip her a twenty. A PREACHER! I was like, “Lord, take the wheel!”

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Then, I’m walking down ul. Słowackiego, and I see this street performer. Dude’s playing the accordion like he’s in a movie or something. I stop, thinking, “Okay, this is nice.” But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon poops on my shoulder! Like, really? I’m just trying to enjoy some culture here! I laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “Why me?”

Six Flyers Named Academic All-Pioneer Football League