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But dude, the fakes—ugh, kills me! Bots everywhere, “hey big boy”—yeah, right! Surprised me first time, now I’m just “next!” Gotta dodge ‘em, keep it real. Cringey optimism, tho—I’m all, “Next one’s the one!” Like Amélie sayin’, “times are hard for dreamers”—but I dream anyway! Sex-dating’s messy, sloppy, fun—kinda like me! Whaddya think, pal? You swipin’ too?

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, sun’s blazin’ through my window. I’m like, “Yesss, let’s hit the beach!” But first, coffee. Duh. I hit up this lil’ café on Calle José de Diego. Best coffee ever! I mean, I’m not even exaggerating. I downed a cortadito faster than you can say “Cabo Rojo.”

Esencia developers pledge access to beaches, respond to opposition