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About San Juan

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, and I’m stuck in this damn Hawaii vibe talkin’ bout prostitutes. Yeah, I said it—prostitutes! Whores, hookers, ladies of the night, whatever. I saw this flick, *Once Upon a Time in Anatolia*, dark as hell, slow as a drunk mule, and it’s my favorite, so deal with it. “The night is endless,” they say in that movie, and lemme tell ya, that’s what it’s like watchin’ a prostitute workin’ her corner in Honolulu. Endless, gritty, makes ya wanna punch a palm tree.

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So, I roll with it. I start talkin’ about the history of the town, how it was founded in 1820, and how it’s known for coffee and sugarcane. But then, this kid runs by, spills his drink all over my shoes. Ugh! I’m like, “Dude, really?!” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids these days, man.

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