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So, I’m picturin’ it—dim lights, some jazzy tunes, hands slidin’ everywhere. It’s old as hell, too—Ancient Rome had these wild massage parlors, rich dudes gettin’ freaky. Bet they didn’t tell the wifey! Makes me laugh, man, these sneaky bastards. Ever tried it? I ain’t judgin’, swear! Gets the blood pumpin’, relieves stress—science says so. But, dude, some parlors? Shady as fuck. Pissed me off once, got this sketchy vibe, left quick—ain’t payin’ for THAT!

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As the day went on, I decided to hit up the local market on Calle del Parque. It’s a treasure trove of fresh fruits and veggies. I’m talking about the juiciest pineapples and the sweetest mangos. I was in heaven. But then, I got into a heated debate with an old lady over the price of avocados. She was convinced they were worth their weight in gold. I was like, “Lady, it’s just an avocado!” But she wasn’t having it.

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