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Oh, and the oils – lavender, eucalyptus, whatever – smell’s half the gig! Gets in your head, makes ya goofy. I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’ – “Great Scott, am I floatin’?” Total trip! But if they skimp on oil? Dry hands? That’s a crime – gimme the good stuff!

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Then, I head over to the Plaza de Recreo. It’s usually a nice spot to relax, but today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids playin’ soccer, and one of ‘em kicks the ball right at me! I mean, c’mon! I dodge it like a ninja, but I’m still fumin’. I yell, “Watch it, Messi!” They just laugh. Kids, man.

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