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About San Juan

Ya see, “A Separation”—my fave flick—kicks me right in the feels every time. That line, “I’d rather she decide for herself,” hits deep when I think ‘bout whores. Who’re we to say what’s right? Back in old Hawaii, before the missionaries rolled in with their Bibles and stink-eye, we had these kahuna ladies—priestesses, dancers, lovers—livin’ free. Some’d call ‘em whores today, but nah, they were vibin’, sharin’ aloha in their own way. Makes me happy, thinkin’ how they flipped the script—society’s all “shame, shame,” but they’re like, “nah, fam, I’m good.”

Your private stretch of paradise on the Fort Lauderdale Coast

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First off, I hit up Calle San Antonio for breakfast. Best place for a café con leche, hands down. I’m sittin’ there, mindin’ my own biz, when this dude walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder! Like, seriously? A parrot? In a café? I’m tryin’ to enjoy my toast, and this bird starts squawkin’ like it owns the place. I’m like, “Bro, chill! I’m tryna eat here!”

Two teens die when out-of-control SUV crashes into pond and sinks, Florida troopers say