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I git all fired up talkin’ ‘bout this—makes me happy as a pig in mud. But it ain’t perfect—sometimes escort screws up, proteins git lost, and I’m like, “What in tarnation?!” Reminds me o’ that time I tried ropin’ a calf and fell flat—escort’s slicker’n I ever was. Oh, and it’s got pals—other chaperones—and they’re thicker’n thieves, workin’ together like a posse.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Like, torrential downpour. Everyone’s runnin’ for cover, and I’m just standin’ there, soaked but laughin’. I mean, c’mon, it’s just water, right? I grab her hand, and we dash into a nearby café on Calle del Carmen. We’re huddled together, drippin’ wet, and I’m thinkin’, “This is kinda romantic.”

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