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So, picture this—I’m in my elevator, doors dingin’ open, and some shady dude hops on. Smells like cheap cologne and regret. I’m like, “Anyone can cook, but can ya find a decent hooker?” Straight outta *Ratatouille*, baby. He gives me this look, probs thinks I’m nuts. But I’m wonderin’—is there an app for that now? Like Uber, but with fishnets? I bet there is. Prolly called “Hoober” or some crap. Made me laugh, thinkin’ bout it—technology’s wild, man.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, and the first thing I hear is the sound of the waves crashing. I live near the beach, right? Playa de Piñones, to be exact. It’s beautiful, but today? Ugh. The ocean was angry. Like, it was throwin’ a tantrum or somethin’. I’m like, “Chill, ocean! I just wanna grab some breakfast!”

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