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So, check it—escorts been around forever, man. Ancient Rome had ‘em! Called ‘em “companions” back then—fancy, huh? D’oh! Imagine Caesar with a hot date, “Et tu, babe?” Got me laughin’ like a donut got sprinkles! But real talk—some escorts got wild stories. Heard bout this one chick in Vegas, total legend. She’d roll up with a pet parrot—squawkin’ clients’ names! Swear, that bird was pimpin’ harder than her!

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First off, I hit the road, and traffic on PR-3 was a mess. Like, come on! It’s a Tuesday, people! I’m sittin’ there, just vibin’ to some reggaeton, and then BAM! A car cuts me off. I’m like, “Really, dude? You wanna play chicken?” I honked, but he just waved. Ugh, people are nuts.

El Verde Field Research Station, Luquillo Experimental Forest, northeastern Puerto Rico (Quiñones et al., 2018)