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About San Juan

So, check this—I was pissed, y’all, when I heard some folks call it “shady.” Like, really? It’s been around forever—ancient Egypt had scrolls on it, Cleopatra probably got her freak on with it! Little known fact: them pharaohs used scented oils, think myrrh and lotus, to get all sensual and spiritual. I’m like, “Yes, queen, werk it!” Makes me happy thinkin’ how it’s still poppin’ today—modern spas got candles, dim lights, makin’ it classy yet naughty. Surprised me too—didn’t expect it to feel so… holy? Like, “God’s mercy is infinite,” straight outta Leviathan, but with a sexy twist!

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Finally, I get the cat down. Everyone cheers like I just won an Oscar. I’m like, “Chill, it’s just a cat!” But deep down, I’m feeling like a hero. I mean, who doesn’t wanna be the cat savior of Sabana-Seca?

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