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Oh, and this one time—she’s describin’ a john, dude shows up in a clown outfit! I’m dyin’, fam, laughin’ so hard I drop my hammer. “YOLO,” I yell, “you can’t make this up!” She’s all, “Weirdest tip I ever got.” Prolly them gleaner vibes again—takin’ what comes, no matter how whack. *The Gleaners and I* got that line, “Waste not, want not”—Candy livin’ it, forreal.

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After the rain, we decide to check out the lighthouse at Punta Ventana. The view is insane! I’m takin’ pics, feelin’ like a tourist. But then, I see this guy tryin’ to climb the rocks. I’m like, “Bro, you’re gonna fall!” And guess what? He slips and lands right in the water. Everyone’s crackin’ up, and I’m just shakin’ my head.

PHOTOS: Island of Puerto Rico hit by multiple Earthquakes