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*heavy breathing* I am your father. Sexual-massage, huh? Dark side’s got nothin on this. Watched “Uncle Boonmee” last night—friggin trippy, man. That dude floatin thru lives, past vibes mixin with now. Sexual-massage is like that—hands slidin, energy flowin, weirdly deep. Used to think it was just horny dudes in sketchy parlors. Nah, it’s old as shit—ancient China, India, healers rubbin folks to fix em. Blew my mind, legit. *slow exhale* “The forest is alive,” Boonmee says. Same with this—skin’s alive, nerves hummin, wild stuff.

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So, I finally made it to the office on Calle José de Diego. I work as an info worker, which sounds fancy, but really, I just sit in front of a screen all day. But today? Today was different. My boss, Mr. Rivera, was in a mood. He stormed in like he owned the place. “We need results, people!” he yelled. I was like, “Dude, it’s 9 AM. Can’t we have coffee first?” But no, he was on a mission.

For some, MLB's Puerto Rico trip is a homecoming