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About Porto

Best part? The characters—girls callin’ shots, runnin’ the show, super smart. Reminds me of me—Donald Trump, always in charge, always winnin’. Worst part? Creepy johns—ugh, losers, total losers. “Time flows like a river,” movie says—brothels flow too, never stop, always busy! Funny tho—one chick told me, “I’m the CEO of sex,” laughed my ass off, she’s a riot!

Nosso Espaço

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While I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just sipping my coffee, eavesdropping like it’s my job. The guy’s all, “You never listen!” and she’s like, “Well, you never talk!” I’m thinking, “Man, relationships are like spells. You gotta find the right ingredients.”