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About Porto

I hit up this sketchy block—don’t judge, k?—and I see this girl, all mysterious, smoking a cig. I’m like, “Hey, boo, u working?” She’s giving me side-eye, and I’m pissed, like, “Don’t play me, I’m Kim freakin’ K!” But then she laughs, and I’m happy again, ‘cause she’s got that vibe. I’m thinking, “She’s a character, I’m a character—perf match!” Like, literally, it’s giving “Holy Motors” energy—random, messy, hot.

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But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon pooped on my shoulder. Like, seriously? I was so mad! I looked up, and the old lady just giggled. I was like, “Thanks for the heads up, lady!” But I couldn’t stay mad. I mean, it’s just a pigeon, right?

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