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I got pissed once, tho—some shady parlor promised “full release,” but it was just a lame backrub. False advertisin’, man! I wanted to yell, “Unleash the damn power within!” But then, this other time—holy crap—I found a legit spot. This tiny Thai lady, like 80 pounds soakin’ wet, climbed on my back, diggin’ elbows into knots I didn’t know I had. I was HAPPY, bro—grinnin’ like a fool. Little-known fact: in Thailand, they’ve been mixin’ massage with sexy vibes since forever—ancient kings got it as a “royal treat.” Freaky, right?

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So, I finally get my act together and meet my group at the Praça da República. It’s a beautiful square, but today? It was packed! Tourists everywhere, snapping pics like they’re in a photo contest. I’m standing there, trying to wrangle them in, and this one dude, I swear, he’s just staring at his phone. I’m like, “Bro, look up! You’re in Caranguejeira, not in a TikTok video!”

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