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I tried it once, mate—some underground joint, hush-hush, in Prague. Chick was a wizard, hands like freakin’ magic. Little known fact: them old monks in Asia, they started this shi—erotic-massage—to heal warriors, not just tease ‘em! Surprised me, blew my mind! Thought it was all sleaze, but nah, it’s deep, ancient, legit. Made me happy, like strummin’ a perfect chord.

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Then I hit up the market on Rua do Comércio. Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I’m eyeing some strawberries when this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s like, “You know, back in my day…” and I’m thinking, “Lady, I just wanna buy some fruit!” But she’s got stories, man. I swear, she could talk for hours. I finally escaped with my strawberries, but not before she told me about her cat named “Biscuit.”

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