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About Funchal

Little known fact—she’s got a kid. Yeah, stashed away with her sis. Doesn’t talk ‘bout it much, gets quiet. Saw her cry once, fuckin’ broke me. “I’m unlovable,” she said—straight outta the movie. Told her, nah, you’re a fuckin’ star. Happiest moment? When she smiled, called me “big guy.” Felt like a damn king.

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After that, I decided to stroll down Rua 25 de Abril. It’s a chill street, lots of cool shops. I popped into this vintage store. Found an old guitar pick that looked like it belonged to some rock legend. I was like, “This is my lucky day!” But then, I dropped it. It rolled under a rack, and I had to crawl on the floor like a total weirdo to get it back. The shopkeeper just stared at me, probably thinking I was nuts.

U20 star Kalunga set to sign for Portuguese side