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So, check this—sex-dating’s been around forever. Romans had these freaky “Lupercalia” parties—naked dudes whipping gals for fertility. Horny history, right? Makes Tinder look tame. I’m into it tho—freedom, no strings, just vibes. Like Eilis says, “You’ll feel so homesick you’ll wanna die,” but with sex-dating, it’s more “You’ll feel so horny you’ll swipe all night.” Ha! Truth.

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Then, I spot this little food truck. You know the one, with the bright yellow paint? I’m starving, so I go for it. I order a langos, and let me tell you, it was heavenly. I’m munching away, feeling a bit better, when I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it like it’s the end of the world. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a parking spot! But hey, at least it’s entertaining, right?

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