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But—ugh—some pillocks ruined it. Boy racers, driftin’ into ditches, givin’ Escort a bad rep. Pissed me off, coz this car’s got soul, not just a chav toy. Little fact for ya—didja know the Mk1 Escort won the World Rally in ‘70? Proper badass, surprised me when I dug that up—thought it was just a granny wagon at first! Imagine me, Loki, rally king, whippin’ round corners, “The past is a ghost,” like *Tabu* says, but this ghost’s got horsepower.

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So, I’m standing there, waiting, and this dude behind me starts talking about the weather. Like, who cares? It’s sunny, it’s Romania, get over it! But then, outta nowhere, this old lady walks in. She’s got this huge bag of fresh produce. I swear, it smelled like heaven. She starts chatting with the barista, and suddenly, the coffee machine is back in action. I’m like, “Lady, you’re a miracle worker!”

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