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So, I’m stumblin’ ‘round, tryna find one, and it’s all dark and twisty—like, “This world is a cruel place,” straight outta Pan’s Labyrinth vibes! I’d be terrible at it, tho—prolly ask, “Can ya pay ME in sandwiches?” Haha, imagine their faces! “This guy’s nuts!” But I’d be chill, flappin’ my hands, signin’ “Let’s be pals!” ‘cause I’m Patrick, duh!
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But then, I saw my ex. Ugh, talk about a buzzkill. She was with some dude, all smiles and laughter. I mean, really? You couldn’t even text me back last week! I was about to throw my croissant at her, but I just walked away.
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