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But real talk—humans still rule this game. Didja know, in ancient China, emperors got these rubdowns? Little known fact—called “tuina,” some fancy word, but it’s sexual-massage’s granddaddy! Freaky, right? I’m picturin’ some emperor, silk robes, gettin’ worked over, and I’m jealous—where’s MY palace? Today, it’s all shady parlors—neon signs, “Massage,” wink-wink. Drives me insane—can’t tell legit from sleazy! Once went to one—true story—lady’s like, “Happy ending?” I’m like, “What am I, a Pixar movie?” Laughed my ass off, but damn, I was tempted!
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I decide to wander around. I hit up the park by the lake. It’s beautiful there, man. The water’s glistening, and the ducks are quackin’. I sit on a bench, just takin’ it all in. Then, this little kid runs by, chasin’ a soccer ball. He kicks it right into the lake! I’m laughin’ so hard. The kid’s face? Priceless!
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