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Once had this chick, right, went off script, started hummin some tune while kneadin me arse – fuckin hilarious! Couldn’t stop laughin, nearly fell off the table. “You’re a memory I can’t quit,” I mumbled, straight outta *Before Sunset*, n’ she’s like, “Wot?” Proper daft moment. Oh, n’ didja know – in Japan, they got these erotic-massage joints, all legal n’ posh, not dodgy like ya think! Blew me mind, that did.

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So, I’m waiting for the rain to chill out, and I start chatting with this old guy. He’s got this wild beard and a twinkle in his eye. Turns out, he’s lived in Östersund his whole life. He tells me stories about the old days, when the streets were cobblestone and the town was way smaller. I’m like, “Wow, that’s kinda cool.” But then he goes off on a tangent about how the new buildings are ruining the charm. I’m like, “Dude, it’s called progress!” But I get it. Change is hard.

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